In one of the more hilarious recent comedy routines, a Pastor was reported by the Gleaner as having refused a $90 million gift.

Self-styled Bishop Joseph Ahdidkno (oops, sorry “Ade-Gold”) was quoted by the Gleaner (No to Dirty Money; April 7) as saying: “I asked him about the source of the money and he said he doesn’t need to tell me because he worked hard. And I say I’m not taking the money because I don’t see the kind of work you could do to raise this kind of money. When you take that kind of money and use it in the Church, it’ll affect the Church negatively.

Ahdidkno took his stand-up routine to CVM Television where he stoutly maintained he refused the money because God said “No”. Had God consented, said Ahdidkno, he would’ve accepted the money. The Gleaner further reported Ahdidkno as claiming he exhorted fellow Pastors to refuse “blood-stained” or otherwise tainted money. Ahdidkno said “I’ve spoken over and over to pastors in… independent churches to be careful, to be aware of it,” (not really the same thing). He also stressed his warnings to pastors in his organisation not to be enticed by money (closer, but still NOT an encouragement to refuse tainted money).

Ah, bollocks! What a lot of double and triple speak. I’ll bet US$1 million to a stale donut that Ahdidkno’s refusal of the alleged gift wasn’t done from fear of God but fear of the law. It would’ve been illegal to accept such an obviously questionable cash gift especially depending on the strings attached. Was a quid pro quo proposed? Discovery of such sudden wealth might well have earned Ahdidkno and his church brethren accommodation at Vybz Kartel’s boarding house.

Churches are founded on the love of money. Building cement monuments to itself can sometimes appear to be the Church’s raison detre. Churches accept tainted money daily. As Bishop Ahdidkno admitted on CVM, if the money had turned up anonymously in the plate one Sunday morning, he would’ve taken it. Bish, Bish. Naughty, naughty. $90 million gifts, however received, are more suspicious than politicians handing out free light bulbs and ought to be reported to the police not gleefully used to build more block and steel glorifications of the Church and its holier-than-thou members.

Sitting in your church on Sunday.
Thinking who you gonna screw Monday.
Who you gonna thief, who you gonna rob
Take it as me tell you sey, you can’t fool God, no..

Churches’ insincerity about money was cruelly exposed by Ahdidkno’s next quote: “Pastors need to understand this, because they would take it (money) to build houses, to build churches, but what I discover……. when they use ‘bad money’ is that evil follows the church…..” See? I repeat: churches exist for the glorification of churches.

By his deeds shall a man be known
Man a ask you for a piece of bread you give him stone
By his deeds shall a man be known
Natty up your head and worship Babylon throne
By his deeds shall a man be known
Straighten up your livity and don’t bow down….

Fundamentalist “Christians” insist they concentrate on Jesus above all else and His Word which they follow and spread. But Jesus never built a single monument to God; never operated a Church; never asked anybody to memorize any catechism or church service; never forced dogma down anyone’s throat; and, most importantly, NEVER PASSED THE PLATE. In fact, He got into trouble with Judas for not converting a gift into cash to benefit the poor. Jesus knew Judas was a thief who wanted the cash for himself, so he countered that the poor would be ever present, but He, who was offering better than money, wouldn’t. Jesus stubbornly refused to pass the plate.

He insisted monetary success was an illusion which would only detract from His important life lessons. It’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom because the rich man is too focussed on his riches to learn or do what it takes to enter the Kingdom.

Mister moneyman wid yu big money plan.
Tell me where you get your firs’ money from;
how you plant your field;
how you make your deal;
then come tell your pickney dem fi don’t smoke weed.

Valton Craigie (VC) burst onto the reggae scene in 2000 with a scathing critique of churchgoers called By His Deeds using concepts from Psalm 28:4; Matthew 7:16; Titus 1:16 and elsewhere to expose a variety of hypocrites.

Peace and Love

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