Irony had a good month in June what with the forced firing and forced rehiring of Brendan Bain followed by the inspirational mental picture of Carolyn Gomes, hoisted on her own petard, flouncing out of a Jamaicans for Justice for Some (JFJFS) boardroom having not got her own way for the first time at last. So, what goes around does eventually come around.

The sun comes up; the sun goes down.
The hands on the clock go round and round.
I just got up now I gotta lay down.
Life gets tee-jus don’t it?

Then, in her new incarnation as executive director of the equally shadowy Caribbean Vulnerable Communities Coalition (CVC), she tries her standard “holier-than-thou” attitude on senior Jamaican journalists, insulting Gary Spaulding and Karyl Walker both of whom outstanding professionals who’ve been tested in the fires of many public events and who’ve served the Jamaican people faithfully from less lofty and less lucrative posts than the one enjoyed by Mrs Gomes.

PAJ Awardee Gary Spaulding was interrupted as he tried to make a point with an accusation that he seemed to want to sit at the head table (how dare he aspire?) and his prelude to a question rudely characterised as a “soliloquy”. Karyl Walker’s remark that human rights groups are often silent when homosexuals violate the rights of others was greeted with open hostility from an obviously piqued Gomes who seems to believe Press Conferences are rehearsed stage shows produced by the callers to be digested and regurgitated whole by journalists. Shades of Milton Samuda!

Hound dawg howlin’ all forlorn.
Laziest dawg that ever was born.
He’s howlin ’cause he’s sitting on a thorn
and he’s too durn lazy to move over.”

Mrs Gomes was quoted as saying: “CVC is founded on the principle that all human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. We make no apology for fighting for the rights of minority populations and vulnerable groups to be heard, to participate as full citizens and to be treated with dignity and respect..” Unless, of course, you give independent expert evidence which offends one of these “vulnerable groups” for whom CVC is fighting. Such a human being does NOT appear to be “born free”; clearly has NO RIGHT “to be heard”; or “to participate as [a} full citizen”.

Old brown mule she must be sick.
Stuck her in the rump with a pin on a stick.
Humped her back but she sure didn’t kick.
Something’s cockeyed somewhere.

Both sides to this silly squabble about “gay rights” must understand that the key to progress is tolerance. It’s not enough for the so-called “gay lobby” to ask for tolerance they must be equally tolerant of opposing viewpoints especially as they know these entrenched views have been handed down from generation to generation over millennia. These antiquated beliefs won’t be easily changed and “progressive” supporters of the principle that all human rights must be enjoyed by all humans need to appreciate and tolerate the difficulty conservatives must be having getting to grips with new trends.

I open the door and the flies swarm in.
I shut the door and I’m sweating again.
I move too fast and I crack my shin.
It’s just one darn thing after another.”

Despite the Richard Nixon style denial “We are not a gay lobby”, it’s clear that CVC is very much a gay lobby (amongst other things). The word “lobby” isn’t a dirty word. It only means that you fight for the rights of your constituents, including gays, by any means necessary and legitimate including networking with powerful possible agents of change. Try too hard at political correctness and end up constantly having to defend irrelevancies. It just makes life too tedious for words.

Water in the well’s getting lower and lower.
Ain’t had a bath in (whoo) six months or more.
But I’ve heard it said (and its true I’m sure)
too much bathing weakens ya

Another thing: this oft heard phrase “gay rights” is a misnomer. What we should all be fighting for is human rights for all humans including gays. Only those who are prepared to publicly admit that they don’t consider gays to be “human” in the same way as the Klu Klux Klan doesn’t consider “niggers” to be “humans” will get my attention when they otherwise incongruously submit that only heterosexuals have the right to love; marry; adopt children or become parents by modern scientific means including surrogacy; own community property; and be treated as “next of kin” in appropriate circumstances.

Once you admit that gays are human, all else falls into place. You might not like the idea of a gay marriage; it may even fill you with revulsion. In that case (which is your entitlement) may I suggest you don’t get married to any homosexual. However, if two homosexuals want to marry each other, please stay out of their way.

Homosexuality has existed in the world as an alternative attraction (NOT “lifestyle”) since the dawn of time. It has been with us as long as heterosexuality and will be with us until the hyped second coming. Those members of the holier-than-thou clan who don’t want this reality explained to children of all ages in a controlled educational, scientific environment are so full of it that they don’t even realise that sticking their heads in the sand leaves their respective rear-ends exposed and primed for a homosexual assault. It leaves their children similarly exposed.

Learn this. If 10% of the general population (a conservative number) are homosexual, then 10% of children of all ages, in all schools, are homosexual. Are they to grow up without their strange (as taught by society) attraction being explained to them in an environment in which they can’t be singled out for ridicule and can actually learn something about themselves? What about heterosexual children? Are they to continue the “bu’n Battyman” tradition handed down on Jamaica’s street corners without even knowing what it means or should they also be taught exactly what homosexuality is in a controlled environment by trained professionals in circumstances where they don’t have to feel embarrassed or appear to be themselves “queer” for wanting the information?

All members of the “holier-than-thou” sect still believing that homosexuality shouldn’t be on the school sex education curriculum because children need to be “protected” from the truth, I hope you’re equally earnest in your campaign to protect these children from information disseminated on the internet and the cable but not in quite as professional or controlled a manner as it would be in school. Be careful what you ask for.

Rat’s knawing on the cupboard door.
Fool’s been at it for a month or more.
When he gets in he’s gonna to be awful sore.
There ain’t a dang thing in there.”

A word to those who use the silly phrase “age appropriate”. That’s a phrase that might have been useful when I was a boy with no TV; then one TV station in black and white; no internet; no cable; no global information technology. Today, it’s just plain stupidity. Let me guarantee these religion-based nuts that, in Jamaican schools today, boys are having sex with girls; boys are having sex with boys; girls are having sex with girls; girls are inserting sex toys in their female friends’ vaginas; every trick in the book seen on cable TV; the internet; and smart phones are being tried in school from as early as five years old. Ignore THAT at your peril.

Grief and misery, pain and woe;
debts and taxes and so it goes.
Now it seems I’m getting a cold in the nose.
Life gets tee-jus don’t it?

Life gets Tee-jus (Tedious) Don’t It?” was written and first recorded in the 1920s by forgotten but influential early country/western recording artiste Carson Robison. It’s a song about the futility of trying to change the world. The world is what it is. It’s been so for millennia. It won’t change. Will you?

Peace and Love


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